The Wizard of Pie
Elton John's
"Goodbye Yellow Brick Road"
*The (Appropriately) Misheard Lyrics Edit
Among girls who ain't got no panties.
Back to the Hollywood town in the woods.
Back to the honky tonk shack in the woods.
Back to the how and the wow and the wood.
Back where the Haldol is awesome
Humpin' the Holy Black Toe.
The Story
Dorothy Gale, a high school senior from Kansas City, finds herself frantically contemplating the thought of college. A hometown girl, she finds the prospect of leaving home both exhilarating and terrifying. What’s more, between college applications and finals, Dorothy feels her stress levels rising. True to form, she whips out her vibrator and heads to the bathtub for a relaxing shower session. What she fails to realize is that her tool malfunctioned since the last time she used it, and when she plugs it in at the start of her shower, she receives a nasty shock and passes out. When our horny heroine awakens, she finds herself in in different world. She seems to have dropped it at a key moment—the Wicked Witch of the East just got hit by the bus to band camp, and is unable to hand down the magical apple pie. Confusion ensues as the townspeople speculate as to who will receive the coveted pie. Amidst all of the kerfuffle, Glindo (played by Eugene Levy) the friendly warlock of the North sees how worried Dorothy is about college. She confides in Glindo that her primary concern isn’t test SATs and AP scores, but the fact that she has yet to sleep with anybody. She understands how quintessential one’s loss of virginity prior to the beginning of college is, and does not want to fall behind. Glindo, full of well-meaning, but unusually awkward advice, directs Dorothy to Emerald City to see the Wizard. At this point, El-fab-a arrives fashionably late to collect the pie that was due her, only to find that Dorothy has claimed it. She threatens to finish Dorothy, but Glindo’s presence prevents Dorothy from being afraid. As thus, she confidently heads down the yellow brick road. Along the way, Dorothy encounters a number of character, each one expressing their desire to lose their virginity as well. Abnormalities such as the inability to talk to women, freezing up when opportunities presented themselves, and general douchebaggery afflicted these boys, and Dorothy invites them to meet the Wizard alongside her. They eventually arrive at the Emerald city and confront the Wizard, whom they discover is a mere high schooler who’s been giving all those who entered sexual advice. The real surprise was that he was lying about his virginity, and was not such a hot shot after all. The group realizes that their sex life does not lie in the hands of this imposter, and they all gain enough confidence to sleep with people. (Two of them, with one another; one slept with the Wicked Witch—who only had a vendetta because nobody would sleep with her; and Dorothy, with the Wizard of Pie himself.) She has such a great time that she orgasms and wakes up in her shower, her mother standing over her with a knowing smile on her face.
Dorothy Gale, a high school senior from Kansas City, finds herself frantically contemplating the thought of college. A hometown girl, she finds the prospect of leaving home both exhilarating and terrifying. What’s more, between college applications and finals, Dorothy feels her stress levels rising. True to form, she whips out her vibrator and heads to the bathtub for a relaxing shower session. What she fails to realize is that her tool malfunctioned since the last time she used it, and when she plugs it in at the start of her shower, she receives a nasty shock and passes out. When our horny heroine awakens, she finds herself in in different world. She seems to have dropped it at a key moment—the Wicked Witch of the East just got hit by the bus to band camp, and is unable to hand down the magical apple pie. Confusion ensues as the townspeople speculate as to who will receive the coveted pie. Amidst all of the kerfuffle, Glindo (played by Eugene Levy) the friendly warlock of the North sees how worried Dorothy is about college. She confides in Glindo that her primary concern isn’t test SATs and AP scores, but the fact that she has yet to sleep with anybody. She understands how quintessential one’s loss of virginity prior to the beginning of college is, and does not want to fall behind. Glindo, full of well-meaning, but unusually awkward advice, directs Dorothy to Emerald City to see the Wizard. At this point, El-fab-a arrives fashionably late to collect the pie that was due her, only to find that Dorothy has claimed it. She threatens to finish Dorothy, but Glindo’s presence prevents Dorothy from being afraid. As thus, she confidently heads down the yellow brick road. Along the way, Dorothy encounters a number of character, each one expressing their desire to lose their virginity as well. Abnormalities such as the inability to talk to women, freezing up when opportunities presented themselves, and general douchebaggery afflicted these boys, and Dorothy invites them to meet the Wizard alongside her. They eventually arrive at the Emerald city and confront the Wizard, whom they discover is a mere high schooler who’s been giving all those who entered sexual advice. The real surprise was that he was lying about his virginity, and was not such a hot shot after all. The group realizes that their sex life does not lie in the hands of this imposter, and they all gain enough confidence to sleep with people. (Two of them, with one another; one slept with the Wicked Witch—who only had a vendetta because nobody would sleep with her; and Dorothy, with the Wizard of Pie himself.) She has such a great time that she orgasms and wakes up in her shower, her mother standing over her with a knowing smile on her face.
The Process
As far as the graphic goes, due to my questionable skill level, its creation relied on a process of primarily finding images to encapsulate both storylines. American Pie bases much of its storyline upon lewd acts and shock-value, whereas The Wizard of Oz is very much the opposite. As thus, a picture that likely aimed to get an interesting take on the importance of the red slippers on the long journey ahead of her, turned into a shot that leaves to the imagination whether Dorothy could become that sexualized figure. (#ChildhoodRuined, I know.) In many ways, I am poking fun at the types of stories that Americans value-- sex and self-discovery, both of which often involve each other, regardless.
To make the graphic, I found this image of Dorothy's legs, and then one of a thong. I pasted both of them in Microsoft Paint, and then drew around the thong to remove it from its initial background. Afterwards, I dragged the thong to the Dorothy image, where I tried to strategically place it in a suggestive manner. Then, I added the title. (I wasn't exactly ecstatic about how the lettering came out, but I didn't want to risk losing the rest of my work, so I let it be.)
Initially, I felt that the graphic was insufficient in terms of what I had hoped to accomplish, so I attempted to make a Star Wars-style image with the storyline moving towards the top. I tried to do this on PowerPoint, and it was largely successful, actually. However, it will not upload here, nor will the words move at a speed that won't bore viewers to death. Regardless, I tried to attach the powerpoint here, and got a nice, stationery image instead.
On that note, since I deemed the graphic inadequate, I really wanted to emphasize the amount of consideration that went into the storyline. As I was crafting just how our R-rated Dorothy would end up in Oz and such, I realized how simple it was to merge these narratives. Brett Gaylord's analysis of the prevalence of remixing in culture today expertly noted how often copyrights are infringed upon just by acting upon these kinds of ideas, or the access to materials. The material I create by even nominally combining these films is the stuff of youtube videos, potentially incriminating me as a copyright criminal. What I love about this project, however, is that it emphasizes my position as a person "formerly known as the audience," according to Rosen. He went on to say that "they were once you printing presses; now that humble device, the blog, has given the press to us." (Social Media Reader, 13)
I considered making a Wikipedia page rather than a graphic, but decided against it. If I had done so, however, I likely would have been considered a troll. Yet, labeling individuals as negative influences on society for something as simple as humor-based internet interactions seems counterintuitive. In Thomas's "Innovation, Piracy, and the Freedom of New Media," he notes how "the notion of the copy has been transformed from an object to an activity." (85) Indeed, one of the steps of my content creation was finding an image to use. For larger companies like Microsoft, this equates to a loss of control over their products, but for everyone else, it allows for a heightened sense of authority over what we hear, read, and see. (Indymedia at its finest!) In this case, it meant that I could utilize images and ideas of iconic movies as steps to create my own.
As far as the graphic goes, due to my questionable skill level, its creation relied on a process of primarily finding images to encapsulate both storylines. American Pie bases much of its storyline upon lewd acts and shock-value, whereas The Wizard of Oz is very much the opposite. As thus, a picture that likely aimed to get an interesting take on the importance of the red slippers on the long journey ahead of her, turned into a shot that leaves to the imagination whether Dorothy could become that sexualized figure. (#ChildhoodRuined, I know.) In many ways, I am poking fun at the types of stories that Americans value-- sex and self-discovery, both of which often involve each other, regardless.
To make the graphic, I found this image of Dorothy's legs, and then one of a thong. I pasted both of them in Microsoft Paint, and then drew around the thong to remove it from its initial background. Afterwards, I dragged the thong to the Dorothy image, where I tried to strategically place it in a suggestive manner. Then, I added the title. (I wasn't exactly ecstatic about how the lettering came out, but I didn't want to risk losing the rest of my work, so I let it be.)
Initially, I felt that the graphic was insufficient in terms of what I had hoped to accomplish, so I attempted to make a Star Wars-style image with the storyline moving towards the top. I tried to do this on PowerPoint, and it was largely successful, actually. However, it will not upload here, nor will the words move at a speed that won't bore viewers to death. Regardless, I tried to attach the powerpoint here, and got a nice, stationery image instead.
On that note, since I deemed the graphic inadequate, I really wanted to emphasize the amount of consideration that went into the storyline. As I was crafting just how our R-rated Dorothy would end up in Oz and such, I realized how simple it was to merge these narratives. Brett Gaylord's analysis of the prevalence of remixing in culture today expertly noted how often copyrights are infringed upon just by acting upon these kinds of ideas, or the access to materials. The material I create by even nominally combining these films is the stuff of youtube videos, potentially incriminating me as a copyright criminal. What I love about this project, however, is that it emphasizes my position as a person "formerly known as the audience," according to Rosen. He went on to say that "they were once you printing presses; now that humble device, the blog, has given the press to us." (Social Media Reader, 13)
I considered making a Wikipedia page rather than a graphic, but decided against it. If I had done so, however, I likely would have been considered a troll. Yet, labeling individuals as negative influences on society for something as simple as humor-based internet interactions seems counterintuitive. In Thomas's "Innovation, Piracy, and the Freedom of New Media," he notes how "the notion of the copy has been transformed from an object to an activity." (85) Indeed, one of the steps of my content creation was finding an image to use. For larger companies like Microsoft, this equates to a loss of control over their products, but for everyone else, it allows for a heightened sense of authority over what we hear, read, and see. (Indymedia at its finest!) In this case, it meant that I could utilize images and ideas of iconic movies as steps to create my own.
Author's Note
Quick afterthought: I noticed how much emphasis my new narrative placed on the hypersexualized mentality promoted by American Pie. Really, what I wanted to do was consider the types of characters that the American public idealizes, and how great a contrast there is between the audiences that do. For the record, I'm more of a Wizard of Oz person, myself, which is why I felt the need to point out how absurd--and yet, strangely accurate-- the American Pie mentality is.
Quick afterthought: I noticed how much emphasis my new narrative placed on the hypersexualized mentality promoted by American Pie. Really, what I wanted to do was consider the types of characters that the American public idealizes, and how great a contrast there is between the audiences that do. For the record, I'm more of a Wizard of Oz person, myself, which is why I felt the need to point out how absurd--and yet, strangely accurate-- the American Pie mentality is.